Where have my personal posts gone?

Yo! Anyone remember that post about my Florida story with the alligators? Same with my series of posts, The good, the bad, the meh. 

I just kind of stopped doing those kind of posts- and while if you look back it wasn’t that long ago I made those posts, to a teen like me, 3 weeks ago is kind of an eternity!

You might even assume that my social posts stopped not out of deliberate choice, but simply circumstance. However, that’s really not how it is! I’m a workhorse about the weirdest things, and I could have very easily have continued my The good, the bad, the meh series, or write more about my time in Florida, without hestation…

If it weren’t for my European History test.

For me, the climax of my school life was all of last week. As some of you might remember, I had all of my most important final exams that week…

It was not okay!

And it is the final exam that I took last Friday, one week ago, that has caused me to decide to lock away the details of what happened in the week leading up to it. Mainly because it is just an embarrassment.

I made a small mistake, and then allowed that to evolve into a bigger mistake- and now that bigger mistake will probably lead to a whole bunch of mutual disappointment for everyone involved. Generally, the lesson that I got from the whole thing is that I can panic in the moment.

And my panic comes out in a very specific way. Whenever I feel stressed, my first reaction is to look at the cause. My second reaction is to not let it fester, but instead immediately let it out. Not in an explosive or destructive way- I really just like to walk around, or write, or even just think sometimes.

If one doesn’t work, another will- so I usually end up pretty calm at all times.

However, when you’re taking your most anticipated test in a cellar that you’ve never seen before- you tend to feel unusually stressed! And when you’re stressed, let me tell you this-

The worst thing you can do is try to convince yourself that you’re not! Don’t tell yourself that you’re okay when you’re not!

It’s super irrational, and it’s pretty destructive!

*cough* irrelevant image *cough*

And uh…

Yeah, I’m not explaining any further. Just know that a prideful guy like me got embarrassed by his failures to the point that I can’t even share them. That’s how bad it was for me!

I’m all for life lessons! And this isn’t actually a life lesson for you! It’s actually a lesson in modesty for a prideful narcissist, like myself.

There really are limits to what you can expose about yourself- and they can really be about the weirdest things! I wouldn’t blink about talking about my kindergarten crush, but I would definitely hesitate before telling someone my favorite tv series!

Our reasons are all so complex…

And for just one of those reasons, I retired my social posts…

Until some dude in one of the Humanities classes played My Hero Academia on the projector during class. And my first reaction was, “Aw… I wish I was in that Humanities class!”

Then my second was, “Who can I tell about this really funny thing?”

And it made me feel really disappointed in myself when I considered this blog, and decided against sharing this story because of my ego. I asked myself when I had become such a fearful person. When had I become so insecure that I would restrict my own happiness?

The answer was, “I don’t care- because I refuse to be that person anymore.”

So, here we are! Personal posts about my social life will probably be coming back in a week or so!

I can’t wait to complain about the cancerous group chat I’ve become a part of! You would not believe the memes! From Spongebob, to The Office, and even Zero Two! (With a good dash of pickleball jokes- the trew sport of free athletic activities)

Just this one anime meme. 

 

*bonus points to anyone who gets what the pickleball joke is based on*